Michael Scott
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Viking Destiny
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Oh boy, I guess Wonder Woman has sparked a new generation of female super heroines. Some of them good, and some of them….well… like Viking Destiny. Viking Destiny tries to craft a new heroine out of Norse lore, but also at the budget of your average late night SyFy flick as well. The film is cheap, cheesy, full of bad acting, poor special effects, and somehow this film got released AND was sent to the PR firms for us to review? I’m not sure who was being payed, or how this came to be, but Viking Destiny is a truly awful film that only has one thing going for it. The filmmaker’s trying to create strong female hero to rally behind. At the moment though, the only thing that is being rallied behind is the liquor stores as viewers of the film have to find something to wash the memory away.
Viking Destiny goes straight into with an overly dramatic birthing sequence straight out of Conan the Barbarian (the remake). We have a queen like character giving birth midst the heat of battle, pauses momentarily to say something romantic to her husband the king, and then goes back to birthing the child while her husband slays the enemies around her. This child happens to be new heroine of this film, one Helle (Anna Demetriou), who will rise to become the quintessential butt kicker later on in the film. Her father, King Asmund (Andrew Whipp) is disappointed that his heir is a female, and sends her to live with her uncle for her formative years.
Helle lives in subterfuge for until her adult years, and is only broken out when Odin (Terence Stamp) comes poofing in with a puff of smoke to giver her some “guidance” now and again. Amusingly enough, the god of mischief himself Loki (Murray McArthur, sadly not Tom Hiddleston) is also around, stirring up mischief for the soon to be queen and gleefully leading men down the path to destruction. Helle’s life is turned upside down when she finds out that her benevolent uncle is not so benevolent after all. He wants to kill off the two heirs to the throne (including Helle, who he has raised) and take over the crown himself. Unfortunately for him (and the king, and a host of other random bad guys who appear for little reason) Helle is a goddess with a blade, and is able to stand her ground against even the biggest and baddest of viking warriors. Luckily she is aided by a group of hippie forest dwellers who want to help her, and a group of vikings who want her to be queen.
I shan’t say that the film has NO redeeming value. Helle is a decent enough sword master and some of the fight scenes are actually pretty cool from a DTV stand point. Sadly, past that, the movie just dives straight into the depths of awful and swims around in that much until the credits roll. The film tries desperately to give us a feminist style store, with Helle able to do everything, but we still have whole sections where she is forced to rely on others to get things done, and sit in the background till it finishes. Not to mention the hilariously bored looks on the faces of Terence Stamp and Murray McArthur, as even the god’s can’t get a whole lot of enjoyment from the flick.
Rating:
Rated R for bloody violence, and some sexuality/nudity
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Extras:

• Of Gods, Women and Men: The Cast
• Strength from Within: Staging the Battles
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Half of the time I was watching Viking Destiny I was trying to place where I had seen Anna Demetriou before, and then it hit me. She looks very similar to Saoirse Ronan with red head, just without the acting chops. Yeah, Viking Destiny is not exactly a film that I’d pop in the Blu-ray player when I’m bored. In fact, I’d probably turn the film off after about 10 minutes even on Netflix. The Blu-ray itself is competently done, with solid video and audio, but the typical anemic extras that go along with DTV flicks. Personally, unless you have a vested interest in the film or the actors, just skip it.
Technical Specifications:
Starring: Terence Stamp, Martyn Ford, Paul Freeman, Will Mellor, Victoria Broom, Ian Beattie, Andrew Whipp, Murray McArthur, Anna Demetriou, Laurence O'Fuarain
Directed by: David L.G. Hughes
Written by: David L.G. Hughes
Aspect Ratio: 2,39:1 AVC
Audio: English: DTS-HD MA 5.1
Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish
Studio: Lionsgate
Rated: R
Runtime: 91 Minutes
Blu-ray Release Date: December 11th, 2018
Recommendation: Skip It