Chronically Metropolitan - Blu-ray Review

[Michael Scott]

Chronically Metropolitan

Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Extras:
Final Score: ​

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Movie
Have you ever heard the old saying that the older generation thinks that the generation coming after them is so much inferior to their own? At the moment that “inferior” generation happens to be the aptly labeled millennials. I TECHNICALLY am a millennial after they recently re dated everyone 1980 and up instead of 1982 on up, so I have to lump myself in with that crowd. The Millennial’s view Gen X and the Baby Boomers as the old codgers who ruined the economy, while the older folk look at them as self absorbed narcissists with an entitlement complex. The reality of the situation is that both are right to a certain degree, but neither are the newest generation as horrible as they claim. HOWEVER, Chronically Metropolitan takes the worst aspects of each generation, crams it into a self indulgent and pretentious story about rich people doing millennial things, and basically whining about everything. The best way to describe the plot is “unlikable rich white folk doing unlikable things to unlikable people and being generally unlikable”. There are some great actors involved with the project, and a seemingly solid trailer, but the movie itself falls apart under its own pretentious narcissism.

Budding young author Fenton Dillane (Shiloh Fernandez) comes back to his childhood East end New York City penthouse estate after he’s driven out of San Francisco for writing a short story that was taken from real life people and experiences. A story that made a bit too much fun of everyone around him, which causes their derision and hatred, even among his own family. Now he’s back a year later after his philandering Professor/writer father (Chris Noth) gets into a car accident while snorting cocaine with a couple of underage students that he’s doing the nasty with (yeah, it’s a bit of a mind boggler). However, the real reason that he’s back in town is to see his ex-girlfriend Jessie (Ashley Benson), who unfortunately is days away from marrying rich art gallery curator Victor (Chis Lowell).

Fenton is still a bit ostracized by his family, as sister Layla (Addison Timlin) is a bit peeved over him just dumping everyone and running away, Mother Annabel (Mary Louise Parker) is toking up with a sex buddy thanks to Fenton’s childhood friend (now turned weed dealer) John (Josh Peck), and his father’s narcissistic, hedonist attitude does nothing to ease his pain. While at home the crazed lifestyles of his family, and the incessant fighting between his family inspires real life experiences for his next novel, and may be the key to bridging the gap that he’s made with his friends and family.

Oh boy. I really wanted to like the movie from the trailer, but Xavier Manrique’s little film is so pretentious and stuck in deluded narcissism that my mind is just absolutely boggled that no one told him that this wasn’t a good idea. The characters are actually REPULSIVE (except for weed dealing John, who is played off as the most normal of the film’s characters), and really just feel like unlikable people doing unlikable things and pouting about how life isn’t fair like a stereotypical millennial cliché. It doesn’t help that everyone feels like they’re a trust fund baby and have no real troubles in life except for how they’re feeling that day and pouting about how miserable their life is while they pour wine down their throat and distract themselves with drugs and other baubles.

There is some mild saving graces with Josh Peck and Chris Noth being HILARIOUSLY awesome as the philandering father, but I couldn’t get into the performances at all, as they came across as the stereotypical hipster millennial stereotypes, and not as actual relatable people. Shiloh Fernandez literally mumbles and pouts the entire film with this baked expression on his face, and the dialog of the movie is cringe worthy. The writers obviously thought they were writing something deep and meaningful, but sadly it comes across as pseudo intellectual mumbo jumbo, which leaves the entire plight and struggle of the main characters feeling worthless and trite.




Rating:

Not Rated by the MPAA




Video:

Universal’s 2.39:1 AVC encoded Blu-ray is competent, but also has a distinct and unique stylistic color grading that makes it a bit of a flat looking picture. The digital image is decidedly bleak and dull, with lots and lots of colors, but very mildly saturated with a drawn out look to them. There’s some pushing of the contrast to the high side which tends to wash out some of the picture just a bit. Details can vary from “meh” to good, but there is a rather strange softness to the picture that is stronger than most other films. Even closeups where you’re staring at Fenton’s beard looks rather soft and hazy, almost as if there there is a thin layer of Vaseline over the screen. At other points in the movie it can look razor sharp, with every pore and detail apparent to the naked eye. Black levels are a bit gray and crushed, but overall the image doesn’t look bad at all.





Audio:

The film comes to Blu-ray with a standard sounding 5.1 DTS-HD MA track that is very much cookie cutter for a talk heavy film like Chronically Metropolitan. Dialog is first and foremost the center of the movie, and it shines with strong replication in the center channel and some mild panning effects in the mains. The surrounds don’t get a whole lot of workout, but they do bleed through during a restaurant scene, or in the middle of New York City streets. LFE is soft and pleasant, mainly used as an addition to the score, or with the initial crash of the car during the movie’s first few minutes. The track doesn’t stretch itself or try to be anything other than a dialog centric track that lives in the front 3 speakers.




Extras:

• Chronically Interviewed: Behind the Scenes with the Stars of Chronically Metropolitan

Final Score: ​

Chronically Metropolitan is competently shot, and has a decent direction to it, but sadly the writing is so intellectually vapid while believing that it is the next reincarnation of Plato and Noam Chomsky set to paper, that it just ends up being mediocre drivel. I really wanted to like the film from the trailer, and I love the cast involved, but I couldn’t connect with anything or anyone in the entire film, leaving me looking at the run time clock wondering when the short 86 minute film was over. The video is decent, and audio excellent, but there is only one extra on the whole disc and the film itself leaves me with the sad distinction of having to recommend you just skip it.




Technical Specifications:

Starring: Shiloh Fernandez, Chris Noth, Victor Cruze
Directed by: Xavier Manrique
Written by: Nicholas Schutt
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 AVC
Audio: English: DTS-HD MA 5.1
Studio: Universal
Rated: NR
Runtime: 86 Minutes
Blu-ray Release Date: September 5th, 2017

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• Michael Scott
• May 11, 2017

Recommendation: Skip It

 

[tripplej]

Thanks for the review. Will skip it..