9 Bullets - Blu-ray Review

[Michael Scott]

9 Bullets



Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Extras:
Final Score:


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Movie
Have you ever seen those videos online where someone is shooting at a target and completely missing? Then they slowly move forward until they can get on paper? Well, 9 Bullets is something akin to that analogy except that no matter how close you move to said target, the movie just can’t seem to hit anything. Despite having the acclaimed Lena Headey at the helm, 9 Bullets is an excruciating watch from beginning to end in what can only be labeled as “a trainwreck attempting to masquerade as a feel good thriller”.

The story follows rough and tumble “Gypsy” (Lena Headey), an aging stripper who has been given a second chance at life. However, her plans for self fulfillment are put on hold when neighbor and friend Ralph (Zachary Mooren) calls her on her last night in a panic. It seems that he has been working for some rough guys (guys she seems to know) and has screwed them over financially. Begging for her to intercede on his behalf, Ralph and his family are gunned down by “Jack’s” men. However, they are looking for a tablet with access to millions of dollars, a tablet that Ralph and his family don’t have.

It turns out that the tablet is in the hands of Ralph’s son Sam (Dean Scott Vazquez) and it’s up to Gypsy to keep him out of the hands of Jack. Oh, and by the way, Jack (Sam Worthington) just so happens to be Gypsy’s sadistic ex boyfriend. Now Jack is after her, the boy, and the money and nothing will get in his way. Not romance, not feelings, not morals. All that stands between death and life is Gypsy, and 9 bullets.

9 Bullets doesn’t exactly come out of the gates swinging. With a laughable and incoherent opening, it just limps before it even walks, then shoves us into a generic thriller where Sam and Gypsy just try to survive. It’s a sort of paint by the numbers story that we’ve seen a million times, with the typical feel good payoff where Gypsy is able to redeem her life by doing something good. When the story focuses on Sam and Gypsy it’s kind of ok, but outside of those character moments, the film is just an incoherent mess of nonsense. Gunfights are few and far between, and the acclaimed Lena Headey is given next to nothing to work with. She’s sincere and well meaning in her role as Gypsy, but she’s playing a caricature and Sam Worthington hams it up so much that it’s comical. Sam Worthington has never been the best actor, but he’s genuinely an interesting person when given the right script. As Jack he’s either bored out of his mind, or over acting to the extreme, and easily one of the worst aspects of the movie.




Rating:

Not Rated by the MPAA




Video:

Shot digitally and with next to no information on the cameras used, I can just estimated that this was done with a 2K master. The 2.39:1 framed picture is quite good for a DTV film. It doesn’t really break the bank visually, but it’s more than capable with brightly lit exterior shots, deep blacks, and only a mild amount of banding. It is slightly soft at times, but overall this is a perfectly fine digital shoot and shows just how easy it can be to produce a decent picture if you use good digital equipment (one of the big upsides to digital). All in all, probably the best part of the package.







Audio:

The audio is kind of like the video. Good, never great, but appropriate for the thriller. Dialog is the main focus of the movie except for the sappy piano inspired score, and it’s right up front with as much typical aplomb as you’d expect. The surrounds aren’t heavily used except during the action bits and for said score, but it’s ample enough to render approval from me. Bass can be mild, but still decent, and overall ambiance is what you’d expect for a low budget thriller. A simple but effective mix without a ton of flash and style.












Extras:

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Final Score: ​

A muddy script, a weak set of actors, and even Lena Headey can’t do much with the overly long 96 minute and 33 second run time (which I was just begging to end by the time the credits finally rolled). Yeah, this is one of those low budget movies that actors beg to be forgotten years later, and I can see why. The bare bones Blu-ray looks and sounds decent enough, but no extras on the disc and the weak weak story drastically over shadow its technical merits. Skip it.


Technical Specifications:

Starring: Lena Headey, Dean Scott Vasquez, Sam Worthington, Cam Gigandet
Directed by: Gigi Gaston
Written by: Gigi Gaston
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 AVC
Audio: English: DTS-HD MA 5.1 French DD 2.0
Subtitles: English SDH
Studio: Screen Media
Rated: NR
Runtime: 97 minutes
Blu-Ray Release Date: May 7th, 2022

Recommendation: Skip It