They Crawl Beneath - Blu-ray Review

Michael Scott

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They Crawl Beneath


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Movie: :2stars:
Video: :4stars:
Audio: :4stars:
Extras: :halfstar:
Final Score: :2.5stars:



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Movie

I was actually one of the few people that was looking forward to They Crawl Beneath. I’m a big fan of creature feature flicks, and the trailer gave off a sort of weird claustrophobic Tremors vibe mixed with a hypnotic thriller. The trailer itself wasn’t exactly that revealing, but I liked the idea of using practical effects for the creatures (as was plastered all over the promotional material). However, what we got was a cheap Sy-Fy channel esque rip off of Tremors that was so badly acted I was wondering whether the actors were taken off the streets and given their lines 5 minutes before the camera started rolling.

Danny (Joseph Almani) is a cop who has a sort of fractured relationship with his wife Gwen (Karlee Eldridge) after getting shot during a robbery. They’ve sort of drifted apart as can happen with traumatic events, and he’s basically shacking up at his Uncle Bill’s (Michael Pare) place in the interim. However, when an earthquake cracks open a rift in the earth his Uncle Bill is killed by the vintage car they’re working on, pinning Danny underneath it AND unleashing a horde of gigantic killer worms who want to feed on the flesh of humans.

Bitten by one of the worms, Danny starts hallucinating, going in and out of consciousness only to come out it and realize that he’s stuck in the garage. The car has crushed one of his legs, and the garage door is stuck shut leaving him in the building with the worms, and only a single 1800s vintage colt pistol as a weapon to defend himself.

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The film is beyond hilariously bad. I was hoping for a fun creature feature flick, or at least a “so bad it’s kinda fun” flick. But instead we get a movie that’s just so bad that it’s…...well…..bad, flick. The dialog is straight up 1980s adult film level, with hilariously bad setups, and of course the gigantic unfolding of events that would never happen in the real world (your battery dying just as you’re calling help. The texts refusing to send as it loses signal, you know the routine), not to mention the bad practical effects for the worms. I saw on another forum someone say “sooooooo, they decided between CGI and hand puppets with teeth for the monsters” and that’s about what you get.

Like I said, I wanted to like the movie, but the direction and the acting makes it really had to connect with anything. The movie plays out like a claustrophobic fevered dream of a movie that almost makes you wonder if Danny is just hallucinating the whole thing. Sadly that would have been a twist that might have made sense. Instead we get a ridiculous plot line of Danny trying to come to grips that he might be Bill’s son, Gwen’s inner turmoil about rejecting her husband, and the end is straight out of a cookie cutter monster film’s ending that it just makes one roll the eyes.




Rating:

Not Rated By the MPAA




Video: :4stars:
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Well Go USA’s 2.39:1 AVC encode looks rather good for the most part. It’s a dark film stuck inside of a garage most of the time, and the outside elements look very cheap and amateurish, but overall the image is quite pleasing. There’s some heavy banding that comes and goes due to the blurring effect used in the film (you’ll notice it when Danny goes in and out of consciousness), and the black levels are a bit murky. Otherwise the main imagery is clean and clear, with good detail levels and a grim color palette.









Audio: :4stars:
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Not only is there a 5.1 DTS-HD MA track, but a Dolby Digital 2.0 track for night listening as well. Like the video, it’s a good sounding mix that doesn’t try to be overly crazy, but still checks off all the right boxes. Dialog is straight forward and simple, locked up front where you would expect it and nothing is unintelligible or poorly balanced. The mix can be a bit forward heavy at times due to the slow pacing of the first and second acts, but the claustrophobic garage location allows for some nice use of surrounds as the worms slither around, or the score filling out the back end. Bass is solid, with some nice low end beats when the car crashes or the tense sounding score, but it’s not exactly going to flap your pant legs either.












Extras: :halfstar:
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• Theatrical Trailer
• Well Go USA Previews













Final Score: :3stars:


They Crawl Beneath is sadly a dumpster fire for the most part. It had potential, and I don’t even mind that they sort of ripped off Tremors. It’s a time honored monster movie trope to have the earth crack and bring forth primordial creatures. But for the love of all that’s holy at least DO SOMETHING with the creatures! The film squanders what little good will it has left by the 2nd act of the movie (which is 20 minutes of Danny just sitting around trying to figure out how to get a sandwich out of the fridge and get his leg free) and just goes full cliché by the 3rd act (culminating in a hilariously bad confrontation with the last 3 worms). The Blu-ray looks and sounds solid, but there’s almost no extras and the movie itself should be enough to keep you away. Just skip it.


Technical Specifications:

Starring: Michael Pare, Karlee Eldgridge, Gar-Ye Lee, Joseph Almani, Natalia Bilbao
Directed by: Dale Fabrigar
Written by: Tricia Aurand
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 AVC
Audio: English: DTS-HD MA 5.1, English DD 2.0
Subtitles: English SDH
Studio: Well Go USA
Rated: NR
Runtime: 88 minutes
Blu-Ray Release Date: October 4th, 2022
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Recommendation: Skip It

 
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