The Siege - Blu-ray Review

Michael Scott

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The Siege


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Movie: :2stars:
Video: :4stars:
Audio: :4stars:
Extras: :1.5stars:
Final Score: :2stars:




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Movie

The world of DTV action movies is about as copious as the world of DTV horror movies. They get churned out every year, made in some low cost of doing business Eastern Euro country, and almost none of them are good. Usually they’re starring Steven Seagal, but hey, this time we get an ACTUAL Eastern European star in the film with The Siege.

Norwegian born bodybuilder Daniel Stisen has mostly been working in the film industry as uncredited hulking side characters, or background actors (even playing a small cameo in Zack Snyder’s Justice League), but up until 2021 he had never been a leading man in any films. That is until Last Man Down, which starred the hulking neanderthal as his typecase role. The big hulking monster of a man in “lone wolf” scenario. 2023’s The Siege follows that up with another type cast role. The big hulking beast of a man who’s a badguy with a heart of gold.

Known only as “Walker”, Daniel Stisen plays a mysterious assassin who gets burn by a witness, and is forced to get a new identity. It appears that there is an underground reassignment facility for the world’s super spies and assassins to get reintroduced into the world as someone else (seriously?). You give up all items pertaining to your former job, are locked in a room for 48 hours while the techs magically give you a new identity, then you’re sent on your way. Simple, easy, and like clockwork. Only thing is, there’s another assassin in the building who is protecting an asset, and that asset happens to be the pregnant girlfriend of a super duper evil badguy, who just MIGHT want his child back.

Said evil baddy (played by Byron Gibson) sends another group of assassins to attack the compound (which is supposed to be like the Continental in John Wick), trapping everyone inside as they go door to door looking for Juliet (Yennis Cheung) and her unborn child (who they conveniently cover up in a bulky green jacket for most of the film so that they don’t have to have Miss Cheung wearing the baby bump prosthetic for most of the runtime). Naturally Walker is going to assist with her escape, and the typical Die Hard slaughtering of the baddies commence.

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The Siege is laughably bad. I’m talking full on gut busting hilarity level by the time the end credits role. If you’ve watched any of Steven Seagal’s slapdash action movies from the last 15 years, then you know what you’re in for. Stilted dialog, wooden acting, hulking body builders attempting to punch each other (even though they’re so roided up with mass they can barely swing a punch), bad martial arts choreography (seriously, the girl fight at the end was BAAAD), and cookie cutter villains. You know, the slick suit wearing baddie, the guy who carries a revolver with a drop holster that he fans like a cowboy, the girl wearing black leather with midriff showing and high heeled boots, and the gigantic black guy who looks like he is 6 foot 7. You know, the usual.

While The Siege is genuinely awful as a film, I sort of feel bad for Daniel Stisen. He’s in no way a leading man material, but he gives the slap dash flick his all. Personally I feel the guy is better set as his “I’m a gigantic viking” stereotype roles, and he does well in those from what I’ve seen. He wasn’t half bad in Last Man Down either, simply because it played to his strengths as the silent type. This just doesn’t work for ANYBODY here, with your cookie cutter action tropes with Eastern European budgets and film styles (it looks like every other low budget Seagal style action flick, with grungy colors, desaturated colors, and a slick glossy look that is almost TOO slick).




Rating:

Rated R for Violence and Language




Video: :4stars:
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The Siege is presented onto Blu-ray with a very capable looking digitally shot encode in 2.39:1 framing. Not shockingly, I couldn’t find a ton of information about the shooting style, resolution of the master, etc.., but It would not surprise me to learn it’s some sort of digital cam setup with a 2K master. Something that’s typical of your average DTV flick. That being said, the end result is generally quite nice. It has that “Eastern European” flair to it, with muted grayed out colors, a very flat look to the image, and the typical banding we see from Well Go USA titles. Fine details tend to be really good for the most part, and you can see everything from the creases around Walkers face to the stitching and fabric changes on the bright green coat that Juliet wears. Once again, that banding is probably the nastiest part of the encode, as the dark imagery is prone to some rather wicked sets of it in certain shots. Never egregious to the point of being problematic, but definitely noticeable.









Audio: :4stars:
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The 5.1 DTS-HD MA track is just about as capable as the video encode. Strong immersive action sequences, punchy bass when Walker is slamming someone through a door, and a good amount of surround activity. It’s one of those tracks that does everything well, but never truly excels at anything. You’ll be pleased and not let down with it at all, but if you listen to it closely you’ll soon realize that you’re not going to be wowed by anything in it. Simply a good, paint by the numbers, track.












Extras: :1.5stars:
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• The Making of Featurette
Well Go USA Previews
• Trailer
















Final Score: :2stars:


The Siege is just plain BAD, but I also sort of liked it in a guilty sort of way. It was so bad that I almost was having fun identifying all of the incredibly cheesy tropes, and the only thing stiffer than Stisen’s acting, was his roided up walk (poor guy looks like he can’t even move with that much mass). Well Go USA’s Blu-ray release looks and sound good, but can’t really get over a hilariously bad script and story, and of course the usual anemic extras. Personally, I’d just skip this one.


Technical Specifications:

Starring: Daniel Stisen, Lauren Okadigbo, Yennis Cheung, Byron Gibson
Directed by: Brad Watson
Written by: Nicole Bartlett
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 AVC
Audio: English: DTS-HD MA 5.1, English DD 2.0
Subtitles: English SDH
Studio: Well Go USA
Rated: R
Runtime: 87 minutes
Blu-Ray Release Date: May 30th, 2023
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Recommendation: Highly Recommended

 
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