Snatched Movie: Video: Audio: Extras: Final Score: Movie Amy Schumer. Ah, good old Amy. I have to admit that I was actually entertained by the first season of her TV show Inside Amy Schumer (which is more of a rip off of Chelsea Handler’s style of comedy) and she had made a few comedic cameos in films before that I enjoyed, but her “I’m a nasty dirty whore!” self depreciating schtick has gotten REALLY old by now. The last season her show, her latest comedy special that has become infamous on Netflix for being one of the worst rated comedy specials of all time, and the disappointing letdown that was her feature film debut Trainwreck have left me rather soured to the fact that Amy Schumer just isn’t that funny anymore. Now, I was actually willing to give Snatched a chance as I grew up LOVING Goldie Hawn. She and Kurt Russell were Hollywood’s cutest non married couples to ever grace the silver screen and her comedic stylings was pure gold when I was growing up. Unfortunately Hawn is pretty much sidelined the entire movie and Amy bears the brunt of this shaky film on her inept shoulders. Snatched had the right idea. It features a mother daughter team of girls who get kidnapped in a ‘fish out of water’ scenario. Girl power to the extreme as they get out of the horrific situation, bond together, and find the will to survive. Basically your typical buddy film. Well, unfortunately Snatched takes a swing and a miss as Jonathon Levine (Warm Bodies, The Night Before, 50/50) plows through the film like an ADHD drunkard, throwing plot points left and right hoping that SOME of Amy’s “attempts” at humor sticks against the wall. Amy plays Emily Middleton, who is basically Amy Schumer with a different name. A self centered narcissist whose boyfriend dumps her just before their beautiful Ecuadorian vacation, Emily takes comfort in her paranoid and do nothing mother Linda (Goldie Hawn), begging her to come down to Ecuador with her so the vacation doesn’t go to waste. While down there the girls getting suckered into falling for a handsome man named James (Tom Bateman) who ends up selling them into slavery to a Columbian psychopath Morgada (Oscar Jaenada). Barely escaping with their lives, Emily and Linda have to figure out a way to somehow make it to the English consulate in Bogota, and hopefully not kill each other in the process. Along the way they’re aided by a pair of vacationing retired black ops agents (Wanda Sykes and a near unrecognizable Jane Cusack), Emily’s brother Jeffrey (Ike Barinholtz) and a few random natives as well. The two women have to rely on each others differences and strengths if they are going to survive, and Emily has to figure out just HOW to care about another human being for a change. Snatched really does follow a tried and true buddy formula. Fish out of water, mother and daughter bonding, a great director, Goldie Hawn, and some fun tropes. However the movie is an enormous MESS in production. It’s obvious that there were huge sections of the movie that were just cut and left on the editing floor, as the pace is insanely jerky and fractured, with a running time of just over 80 minutes of actual story. The biggest detriment to the movie is really Amy Schumer. She’s just NOT funny, and her “I’m a gross disgusting pig!” type humor has gotten so old and tired that I couldn’t crack a smile once when she was talking. The first 30 minutes of the movie with Amy prattling non stop was utter TORTURE, and it wasn’t until Christopher Meloni comes in to share the comedy load that I actually started chuckling a little. The other problem is having a comedic legend like Goldie Hawn pretty much sidelined in her own movie. I know that Amy is the new hotness, but there was ample room for Goldie to shine, but was pretty much only given a few minutes in the limelight and her true talents were stifled. Side characters really made the funny portions of the movie funny though. Christopher Meloni as the guide is probably the single funniest character in the movie, and his fireside chat with Emily and Linda actually had me full out laughing at one point. While I normally don’t like Wanda Sykes, her team up with Joan Cusack as the vacationing special ops duo actually had me crack a smile or two. Sykes is her normal annoying self, but Cusack’s silent physical comedy was priceless. However, none of could overcome the ridiculously ADHD script that Levine directed. The movie is all over the place with whole sections feeling drastically different than what came before it, and the jumbled cuts made me wonder if Levine had edited this in about 45 minutes during a lunch break. Rating: Rated R for crude sexual content, brief nudity, and language throughout Video: Snatched comes to Blu-ray with a very pleasing looking encode from 20th century fox, and while I can’t find any actual information on what cameras were used, or what resolution the master was, I’m imagining this was a digital shoot. All the hallmarks of said shoot are here, with sharp imagery, a glossy bright look to the film, and no signs of film grain. The resolution is sharp, with the Ecuadorian setting showing some of the best detail levels. When James is showing the two girls around the local culture spots you can see every bit of dirt under the nails, and the shiny sparkling colors real pop in the exotic locations. The picture shows a light golden tint that tends to show mild softness here and there, especially in the darker shots that seem to show just a hint of digital noise in the flickering light of natural flames or the soft golden tint. Black levels are very clean and deep, with only a few hints of said digital noise showing up, and plenty of shadow detail is noticeable even in the deepest of night shots. Audio: Fox has given us a very VERY impressive sounding 7.1 DTS-HD MA track to enjoy on BOTH the Blu-ray and the 4K UHD disc. As with most comedies, dialog is one of the biggest focal points of the track, and the vocals come through with crystal clear precision. Even Amy’s incessant mumbling is perfectly intelligible at all times. However, Snatched manages to rise above your average laugh track comedy and has enough action and adventure throughout to really give it a kick in the pants. Gun shots ring out with clarity and authority, and the LFE flows effortlessly throughout the poppy/urban score. Crashes, booms, and explosions cause some nice pant flapping bass, and the surrounds get a lot of activity with the chaos that ensues. There’s naturally some front heaviness at times, but when the action gets going around the 30 minute mark it becomes much more immersive. . Extras: • Deleted Scenes • Extended and Alternate Scenes • Gag Reel • Director Commentary by Jonathan Levine Final Score: Snatched is intermittently funny, but that is a feat that is achieved only after long periods of horrible Amy Schumer “comedy” and whole chunks of the movie that feels like even LARGER portions of the movie was left on the cutting room floor. I chuckled a small handful of times, and Joan Cusack’s physical comedy was the highlight of the film, but even that does very little to rescue a movie that was more of a train wreck than Trainwreck. Audio and video are great and the extras solid enough, but I’d still recommended skipping Snatched unless you’re trying to torture the friends and family members in your life that you’re subjecting to this film. Technical Specifications: Starring: Amy Schumer, Goldie Hawn, Kim Caramele Directed by: Jonathan Levine Written by: Katie Dippold Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 AVC Audio: English: DTS-HD MA 7.1, Spanish, French, English (DVS) DD 5.1 Studio: 20th Century Fox Rated: R Runtime: 91 Minutes Blu-ray Release Date: August 8th, 2017 Recommendation: Skip It.