CHIPS - Blu-ray Review

Movie
Hollywood is no stranger to rebooting old TV shows into new movies. Starsky and Hutch, The A-Team (which I actually loved by the way), Baywatch, and now the 80s cheese fest CHIPS. I knew from the minute I saw the very first trailer that this was going to be a remake in name only. Nothing about the trailer captured the essence of the TV in any way, shape, or form, and I really had no problem with that. I grew up watching reruns of Eric Estrada and Larry Wilcox as the famed Ponch and Wilcox, but I wasn’t married to the idea that it HAD to be a strict mirror image of the show. I like a dumb comedy, and was willing to give the movie a shot. Unfortunately, the abomination that you see before you can’t even really be considered a movie, in my opinion, let alone a GOOD movie. Dax Shepard and Michael Pena turn a decent opportunity for a fun time waster in a monstrosity of film that spends most of its time making genital and drug jokes while having the two be complete and utter numskulls.

As I said above, the movie CHIPS bears little, to no, resemblance to the tv show of the same name. Frank Poncherello (Michael Pena) is an FBI agent investigating a ring of dirty cops within the California Highway Patrol office who are pulling off big money heists and murdering people along the way. The FBI decides to send Poncherello (Ponch) undercover within the CHP and have him paired up with a rookie named Jon Baker (an ex motocross biker whose broken body barely gets him into the academy) so that he can operate without any “real” cops getting wise to the subterfuge. Yeah yeah, we all know where this is going. Ponch is a bit of a sex fiend with an eye for any female behind that moves, while Baker is an over attentive rookie who’s a bit TOO enthusiastic about his job. Naturally the two guys are at odds, but not before the two recognize each other’s strengths.

Working together they may well get the bad guys, but not before they shoot their old partners, talking about sexual dysfunction in the locker room, have the classic “ermagoodness I saw you naked!” scene, and all sorts of moronic behavior. I have no problem with language and dirty jokes, it’s part of comedy, but the amount of insane stupidity rivals much of Dax Shepard’s older works and almost feel like Dane Cook was directing the film. Ponch is a raging sex machine who can’t keep his eyes off the ladies, and Baker is a moron who just wants to get back together with his cheating wife (played by real life wife, Kristen Bell). It honestly felt like a nonstop barrage of inane humor that simply missed just about EVERY…SINGLE… punchline. Unless you like talking about boobs, butts, fart jokes, and prostrate problems.

One thing that surprised me was how much the movie earned its R rating in the violence department. Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a gore fest or some bloody action movie, but there was a SURPRSING amount of head shots, decapitations and body parts being blown away for a comedy. Most of it was played off for laughs, but I wasn’t expecting that from a dirty comedy. Usually it’s more a Moe, Curly and Larry type of situation with people poking eyes and bopping each other on the head.

Michael Pena is usually a personal favorite actor for me, but the script pretty much dictated that I loathed him about as much as I loathed everyone else. I kind of feel sorry for Dax Shepard, as the comedic actor hasn’t had a really funny movie since Employee of the Month. He tries REALLY hard here, but he basically is the same moronic wingbat he always is, except he’s less of a jerk here. Pena amps up the jerk to level 10, but none of it every strikes home as the writing is just ATROCIOUS. Even a little cameo with Eric Estrada can’t bring any fun to the party. The same goes with Vincent D’Onofrio as the bad guy. He’s rough, he’s tough, but the script hamstrings any attempt at giving him a meaningful motive to his hardline personality. Literally, the whole movie is one giant missed opportunity, and the bar wasn’t set too high to begin with.




Rating:

Rated R for crude sexual content, graphic nudity, pervasive language, some violence and drug use.




Video:

While the movie is an utter train wreck, but the video encode itself is exemplary. Shot on a variation of the RED digital cameras, CHIPS looks really REALLY sharp on Blu-ray. Filmed with the 1.85:1 aspect ratio and given a hefty bitrate, the movie is just razor sharp and perfectly clear at all times. Colors in sunny California pop off the screen, and the detail is short sharp that you almost feel like you can reach out through the screen and touch the characters (mostly to slap them). Blacks are deep and inky, and there was only one spot in the entire film that I noticed any banding (the scene where Justin Chatwin smokes up the parking garage with his tires as a smoke screen). Otherwise the image is about as pristine and clear as you could expect. Fine detailing is excellent, and besides some mild softness that comes through in a few shots, the image is jaw dropping.







Audio:

The movie was horrible, the video was amazing, but the audio is nothing short of perfection. For being a comedy, for being a MOVIE, the 5.1 DTS-HD MA mix is an incredible piece of work. Gunfire is deep and guttural, vocals are locked firmly in the center of the stage, and the surrounds are kept active with a plethora of piñata’s….errr…activity. The bass is really rocking though. The motorcycles throb with a hefty low end, and the end fight between the dirty cops and dumb cops is enough to level the entire audience. My ears were throbbing and my pant legs flapping as Vincent D’Onofrio rode in on his hog, and it felt more like a Transformers movie, audio wise, than anything I ever could have expected. Absolute perfection.






Extras:

• This Is Not Your Dad's CHIPS
• Practical Pursuit
• Ducati: The Perfect Bike
• Director's Audio Commentary









Those of you who follow my reviews know that I tend to look for the good in every film. I’d actually say that I often err on the side of caution when criticizing a film, but CHIPS is a movie that I find no redeeming value in whatsoever except for competent camerawork. Dax Shepard fails miserably at writing, directing AND acting in the film, despite giving it everything he has. The inane jokes miss the mark every single time, and the action is the only thing that is fairly decent (the highway motorcycle chase with Dax and Justin Chatwin’s character is actually pretty stinking good), but the movie itself is a flaming pile of dog poo on the front porch. Audio and video are nothing short of incredible, as Warner went all out with the Blu-ray. Extras are solid and well done, but unless you can stomach the film itself, I wouldn’t bother.
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Technical Specifications:

Starring: Dax Shepard, Michael Pena, Vincent D'Onofrio
Directed by: Dax Shepard
Written by: Rick Rosner, Dax Shepard
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 AVC
Audio: English: DTS-HD MA 5.1, French, Spanish, English, Portuguese DD 5.1
Studio: Warner
Rated: R
Runtime: 101 Minutes
Blu-ray Release Date: Own CHIPS on Blu-ray and DVD on June 27 or Own it Early on Digital HD on June 13!

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• Michael Scott
• May 11, 2017